There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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