I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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