Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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