We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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