sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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