I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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