So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
