There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
