theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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