Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
