i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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