I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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