if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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