I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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