This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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