he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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