why im i the only drunk person in the library?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
