I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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