my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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