Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Even my vagina gasped.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
