I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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