Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
