you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
