i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So vagazzling was a success
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
