got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
