I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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