There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
