Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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