I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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