it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
