i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
