the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
