Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
