i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
