guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
