my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
