i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
