Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
