I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am naked and annoyed.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
