i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
