Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
