he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
