is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
