Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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