Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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