I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize