need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
