oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
