i love accidental penises.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
