I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
