Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
