Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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