rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
