It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
