I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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