Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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