im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
