its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
