As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize