sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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