I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
