I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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