So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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