so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
