I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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