No stitches, just platelets and will power
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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