Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize