there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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