yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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