I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
