Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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