Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
