Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I bet he comes in French.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize