Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
