i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
