Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
