If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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