I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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