Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
